So I am down to 10 days before I leave for Italy. one of my friends said I should make a paper chain to count it down visually for me, and since I haven't made a paper chain since about 3rd grade, I thought, "what the heck. why not? it could be fun! and colorful!" and it is indeed that. I'm super excited about going to Italy because I've wanted to go there for about a decade and it will finally be fulfilling a dream. However, I have absolutely no clue what to expect. I keep hearing all these horror stories and advice about what to do when I get there and how to live and where to visit. I am grateful for all the advice pouring in on all sides, but I also want there to be some element of surprise. I know you are probably laughing at me wanting more surprise concerning traveling abroad, since even I know that no matter how many things they tell me about, there will be plenty more that no one will have thought to tell me about or know about themselves. and I'm sure it will be nice to know all the things I have heard about since it will be rather overwhelming the minute I get on the plane, but at the same time, I learn faster when i have no other choice, and I feel like the info I'm getting is just getting in the way of me mentally, emotionally, and physically getting myself ready.

The thing that surprises me the most about the whole thing though is the fact that when i tell people that I'm going to Italy for 3 months to study, they always get really excited for me and as if I'm excited. I am excited to go, so I always say yes and fake a huge smile to match their enthusiasm, but I am so far from knowing what to expect at all that I am not as excited as i thought I would be. It just really hasn't sunk in that I'm going to Italy and will be living there for 3 months! I'm not sure it really will either until I land in Rome and get out of the airport. Trying to figure out what the heck is going on in another language and smelling all the different smells, hearing all the new sounds, and especially seeing all the sights I've only ever seen in movies and pictures is going to hit home more than the enthusiastic conversations I can have with anyone right now.

The other thing that is going to surprise me, but only after I get back is the fact that life has gone on without me. I have so may things I want to do with friends when I get back, that I have imagined what that is all going to be like, but it will be different than I can imagine because they will have gone through things while I was gone that I won't know about. My plans all include me and my friends as we all are right now, but in January, there will be a lot that is different with all of us, and who knows if anything that I imagine will be the same. I think that's the hardest concept I'm trying to deal with right now. I guess I can only imagine what missionaries feel like when they are getting ready to leave, or especially come back from their missions. They know they have changed in their 2 years away, and they know that many other things have changed while they were gone. Thinking about the boys who come back to BYU, there are probably many girls who are married when they get back. But even the boys who don't go to BYU, when they get back to their home ward there are people who have moved away and new people who have moved in and perhaps even made friends with their family. Whole stories can be told that don't include them at all, and it's probably a weird experience to feel so out of the loop, and even be in a loop of their own. That is the part that's going to probably mess me up the most. and there isn't even anything I can do to stop or change that. but regardless of that fact, I am still excited to go to Italy and maybe even excited to see what the changes will be in such a short time as 4 months can afford.