I've noticed something in the past few days I've been hanging out with my grandma a lot since I don't have much to do at home besides watch Avatar: Last Air Bender and Dr Who and read a few books I borrowed from the library. when it's just me at home with Buster, I turn on the music and just listen to that (as long as I'm not watching a tv show on netflix) so that it isn't silent. Really, I do that all the time, whenever there is a silence I turn on music or the tv, just sound of some kind so that I don't have to sit in my own silence and think too much. However, I don't know if that is unusual for me or if it's more a generational thing. when I'm riding in the car with my grandma, she NEVER listens to the radio, so either we have to talk or it's just silent in the car. I've grown used to that silence that surrounds her and her house, but when I was talking to one of her caregivers earlier this week while she was driving me home she said she couldn't stand not listening to the radio in the car. for one who constantly turns on some sound, I was surprised myself that it didn't bother me.

But thinking about the whole thing, maybe I'm really the weird one. perhaps the whole constant sound thing is a generational thing, and I am the one who is weird for enjoying the silence every once in a while. I love to be quiet when I'm reading. I don't turn on music then. I like being silent when I'm in nature: hiking, camping, swimming. There are definitely times for talking while out in nature, especially when you are in a group and just chatting to get to know each other or to figure out where to go next or to warn others of danger. But I always try to have a moment of silence when I'm doing stuff just to look around me and take in my surroundings without me trying to add something to it. I don't bring my ipod when I'm walking the dog: I want to be able to talk to anyone I may meet without looking like a fool who wasn't paying attention to where I was or who was around me and I want to listen to my body so I know when I'm tired and Buster so I know when he's tired and we need to turn around to make it back to the house. Heck, I guess sometimes I even like turning off the radio and just listening to the car on the road while I drive. I do it a lot on sundays as I drive to church so I can get in the right mood. but I sometimes do it during the week when I'm stressed or angry or inexplicably happy so I can just think why I'm feeling the way I am and maybe even try to remember that feeling.

I guess I just noticed that I try to fill up my days with sound most of the time, but I also have times when I just want to be quiet and enjoy that as well.

I really wanted to try and figure out a way to embed a music file of some sort to be annoying as you read this, but then I realized that it would be a lot harder to do that since it would only be if you were reading this alone, not on the home page when you were just glancing at all. basically, it is beyond my ability, so I guess you are lucky to not be annoyed with some song I arbitrarily choose for you to listen to while you read this.